Gurbani and Sangat

Ram Kaur had read that everyone is welcome in a Gurdwara (Sikh place of worship), and says that is what she found. She looked up what to do: shoes off, hands washed, head covered. She went on a quiet late morning, sat at the back and could not follow what was said, yet did not want to leave. “It’s like you found home now”, she says.

Haneet Kaur, who was Muslim at the time, was nervous about causing offence. She says everyone was welcoming, though on later visits she noticed some odd looks. Bishan Singh went on a quiet weekday with a friend, bowed, and was shown round.

• Ram Kaur on her first Gurdwara visit
• Haneet Kaur on being welcomed in
• Bishan Singh on a quiet weekday visit at 35:41

Gurbani Kaur says yes, and that understanding came to her later. In her words: “it doesn’t matter if you can’t understand it, everybody should read or listen to Gurbani” (the Guru’s words). She says nobody explained the meaning to her and she never read a translation; while listening to Kirtan (the singing of Gurbani) she found, all of a sudden, that she had started to understand.

Ram Kaur could not follow anything on her first visit to a Gurdwara (Sikh place of worship), and says she still wanted to stay sitting there. On programme days she could read the translations put up on a screen.

• Gurbani Kaur on understanding coming later at 25:39
• Ram Kaur on sitting without understanding

Dharmveer Singh describes being in that position, and says a small weekday class changed things for him. Taken to the Gurdwara (Sikh place of worship) as a child, he says he sat through Sundays understanding nothing. In his early twenties a cousin invited him to a class of six or seven who recited a prayer, Rehras Sahib, along with the teacher. Later he read a little at home, adding bit by bit. “Don’t put pressure on yourself”, he says.

Bishan Singh’s suggestion to people raised in Sikh households is to treat each Gurdwara visit, however rare, as a chance to build a personal relationship with the Guru.

• Dharmveer Singh on a small weekday class
• Bishan Singh on using each Gurdwara visit at 1:21:16

Ram Kaur assumed so at first, and says she then learned it was Seva (selfless service), where you do not look for any reward. When she first saw people working in the Langar (the free community kitchen) at her Gurdwara (Sikh place of worship), she thought it must be a job with set hours.

So she went to help and found everyone welcoming. Her task was scraping out the food waste, and of that she says: “I felt like I was cleaning my heart”. She describes the meal as the same for everyone, with all sitting alike.

• Ram Kaur on discovering Seva in Langar

Bishan Singh and Ram Kaur both did. Bishan Singh taught himself the letters of Gurmukhi (the script Gurbani is written in) by writing each one a hundred times, then took online lessons with a teacher, known as Santhya. He says it is not that hard if you are consistent, and that the main obstacle is ego: “you think you’re doing everything right and then you get told you’re doing everything wrong”.

Ram Kaur saw a notice for children’s Punjabi classes at her Gurdwara (Sikh place of worship) and asked to join. She sat with small children, exercise book in hand, and says nobody treated her differently.

• Bishan Singh on teaching himself Gurmukhi at 1:06:26
• Ram Kaur on joining a children's class