Every journey into Sikhi has a story. Discover yours.

No, going by the guests on Finding Sikhi, some of whom were raised outside Sikh families. Bishan Singh grew up in a white, middle class family in Nottingham with agnostic parents. Offering it as his own opinion, he goes further: “I don’t think you can be born a Sikh”. As he tells it, each person has to join with the Guru of their own accord.

Japjeet Kaur, who is from Belgium, says it never felt as though she had chosen Sikhi, or even found it. She was not looking for anything, she says, and it unfolded anyway.

• Bishan Singh on nobody being born a Sikh at 1:01:38
• Japjeet Kaur on not choosing Sikhi herself at 29:43

Ram Kaur had read that everyone is welcome in a Gurdwara (Sikh place of worship), and says that is what she found. She looked up what to do: shoes off, hands washed, head covered. She went on a quiet late morning, sat at the back and could not follow what was said, yet did not want to leave. “It’s like you found home now”, she says.

Haneet Kaur, who was Muslim at the time, was nervous about causing offence. She says everyone was welcoming, though on later visits she noticed some odd looks. Bishan Singh went on a quiet weekday with a friend, bowed, and was shown round.

• Ram Kaur on her first Gurdwara visit
• Haneet Kaur on being welcomed in
• Bishan Singh on a quiet weekday visit at 35:41

Gurbani Kaur and Japjeet Kaur both say no, from their own experience of Amrit (Sikh initiation). Gurbani Kaur says she cried because she felt unworthy, and asked another Sikh when she would be ready. As she tells it, he replied that nobody ever feels ready: all she could do was go to the next ceremony, ask, and accept the answer. Japjeet Kaur’s advice to people who contact her is: “Don’t think you need to be perfect”. She adds that you should still come committed.

Haneet Kaur did not want to rush. She says she lived as a Sikh for about three years and went when she felt ready.

• Gurbani Kaur on never feeling ready at 59:59
• Japjeet Kaur on not needing to be perfect at 1:14:53
• Haneet Kaur on waiting three years

Dharmveer Singh describes being in that position, and says a small weekday class changed things for him. Taken to the Gurdwara (Sikh place of worship) as a child, he says he sat through Sundays understanding nothing. In his early twenties a cousin invited him to a class of six or seven who recited a prayer, Rehras Sahib, along with the teacher. Later he read a little at home, adding bit by bit. “Don’t put pressure on yourself”, he says.

Bishan Singh’s suggestion to people raised in Sikh households is to treat each Gurdwara visit, however rare, as a chance to build a personal relationship with the Guru.

• Dharmveer Singh on a small weekday class
• Bishan Singh on using each Gurdwara visit at 1:21:16