Theme 8 stories
Identity and belonging
These guests talk about keeping Kes (uncut hair), tying a Dastaar (Sikh turban) for the first time, and being visibly Sikh at school, at work and at home. They also talk about the slower work of feeling that they belong.
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Can anyone become a Sikh, or do you have to be born into it?
No, going by the guests on Finding Sikhi, some of whom were raised outside Sikh families. Bishan Singh grew up in a white, middle class family in Nottingham with agnostic parents. Offering it as his own opinion, he goes further: “I don’t think you can be born a Sikh”. As he tells it, each person has to join with the Guru of their own accord.
Japjeet Kaur, who is from Belgium, says it never felt as though she had chosen Sikhi, or even found it. She was not looking for anything, she says, and it unfolded anyway.
Can Sikh women wear a turban?
Ram Kaur and Haneet Kaur both wear one and say yes. Ram Kaur says some people used to think only men wear the Dastaar (Sikh turban), “but it’s for everyone”. She began with something easier to tie, which kept coming off, switched after a few months, and now feels something is missing without it. She says there is no fixed way to tie it, and that people in the Sangat (spiritual community) will help.
Haneet Kaur asked her husband whether women wear one. As she tells it, he said that not all women do, but women can. She tried it and says she felt happy straight away.
Do you have to be Punjabi to be a Sikh? How are people from other backgrounds received?
No, going by the guests, though how they were received varies. Ram Kaur, whose parents are from Jamaica and St Lucia, says she has had no problems to her face, in Britain or travelling alone in Punjab. She adds that she cannot know what is said once she has walked away.
Japjeet Kaur, who is from Belgium, says most people treated her differently for being white, often too positively. Her request is: “please just treat me like you would treat any Sikh”. She hopes attitudes are changing and says there is still a long way to go.
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